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[11.4s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons...
[13.8s] There are two large spires. In the center of those spires is a piece of the Axe of Mirabar armor.
[21.8s] And surrounding them are three floating jars with brains inside.
[28.2s] All three of you here allow rumble as these zombies on the other side of the main entrance
[33.4s] and kind of looks like it's bending as the zombies behind are trying to push their way into
[37.6s] this room. And the blue, its jar erupts and the brain falls to the floor with a splat.
[44.1s] And I go, somebody curve stomp that thing.
[46.6s] We shoot it twice in the head to make sure that it's dead.
[48.9s] Lara, you hear your communicator and Salazar's like, we just dropped some armor off
[55.4s] with those soldiers out there. They're suiting up right now and should be heading in to try
[59.4s] and help you out with the hordes. Lara, it is your turn as the groaning
[64.1s] sounds like it's getting closer to the door.
[66.2s] Fuck some shit up. By what you mean.
[68.7s] Hit a stone pillar. You crack the stone that's making this statue.
[73.5s] It kind of sounds like the zombies themselves. Their groaning
[77.4s] fades and then comes back a little bit. I'm gonna hit that pillar again.
[80.8s] You strike this pillar and it, the same way as the other one, crumbles into dust.
[86.6s] And the sound coming from the other side of the room stops.
[91.0s] I'm just gonna throw a little produced flame.
[94.1s] The fluid inside of the jar begins to boil and it erupts. The brain sizzles and falls
[101.4s] to the ground. All the brains in the room, jars have exploded and are dead.
[107.5s] The spires are all crumbled to the ground and it sounds like silence on the other side of the
[114.2s] door. You guys get out into the daylight and Torgar says, you guys are good. You guys are good
[119.1s] fighters. I want to, for the acts of Mirabar, commit us to help you when you need us.
[125.1s] Sounds like a good plan. Wasn't there a river or something?
[129.0s] I think we have to go back and see Makkath in Luskin.
[133.4s] You begin down the river. You see ahead a large, lush forest that now stands out like a sore thumb
[139.8s] in the land of devastation. At the edge of the forest, you see a bridge that looks to be blocking
[144.6s] the river. And on that bridge stands a single gnoll. You're going to pay toll to get by.
[150.4s] Boys, we got company.
[156.2s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. We are a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast. I am
[160.8s] your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today is Amy More.
[166.7s] Did you seriously just blank on your wife's name?
[169.2s] Well, no, I just didn't know who I was going to go with first and then I panicked
[172.8s] because I didn't have one already teed up ready to go. Amy More, who do you play?
[179.5s] I play Thea Amastasia, who is also not impressed with you for getting your wife's name.
[185.0s] I didn't forget. I just didn't pick one.
[188.5s] Anyways, who else is here? Carla Johnson's here. Who do you play?
[191.6s] I play new Laura Moonbrook.
[193.8s] And Tom Laird.
[195.4s] And I play Flint Firebeard.
[197.8s] Welcome, guys. How are you?
[199.8s] Thanks for having us, Russ.
[201.1s] Yeah.
[202.5s] Doing well.
[203.9s] This episode comes out August 30th, which will be the wrap up of our Patreon launch month.
[210.4s] So thank you if you've been checking out our Patreon page, which is Patreon.com slash
[214.5s] dumb dragon cast for as little as a dollar per month, you could join our community and
[220.0s] get some extra bonus content as well as some other cool stuff on that there website.
[225.0s] Yeah, it's all cool stuff.
[225.8s] It's super cool stuff because because Tom is running a super cool campaign.
[230.9s] That episode came out on the regular channel a couple weeks ago.
[234.0s] And so you've probably heard it by now.
[236.7s] But if you want to get any more of that game, you've got to sign up on our Patreon
[240.9s] page, become a patron of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[244.6s] Featuring three new characters and a DM who kind of doesn't know what he's doing, but he's trying.
[249.6s] You fake it really well, bud.
[251.2s] Excellent.
[252.2s] New segue.
[253.0s] We are in their stride.
[256.0s] Hey, we've done it.
[257.5s] We've turned on the mics and now we are awkward human beings.
[261.1s] Just like always.
[262.2s] Just like always.
[264.4s] People listen in because they like how real we are and are so socially inept,
[269.5s] even with one another.
[270.5s] Yeah, it would be weird if they tuned in and we like actually had our shit together
[274.0s] for a change.
[275.2s] Wouldn't that be odd?
[276.2s] Like if I wrote things down, like I'm going to say this really clever thing
[279.2s] when Russ introduces me.
[280.4s] It's never like that.
[281.2s] It's always like, uh, yeah, I am Amy.
[284.8s] I always hope that maybe one time somebody will like come up with like a joke or something.
[291.9s] I mean, we've only been doing it for now 20 episodes.
[294.2s] Russ's birthday is coming up soon, you guys.
[296.2s] We could do something.
[296.8s] I was just going to say that like it's kind of Russ's birthday soon.
[300.4s] Like maybe we could.
[302.2s] Don't tell Russ, guys.
[303.4s] It's a secret.
[304.1s] Okay, no, yeah.
[304.8s] I'll take my hat off.
[305.6s] Nobody tell Russ.
[307.1s] Okay, so we'll pick it up.
[309.0s] At the edge of the forest, you see a bridge that looks to be blocking the river.
[313.4s] And on that bridge stands a single gnoll.
[316.8s] As your boat drifts forward, the gnoll calls out to you.
[319.6s] You're going to pay the toll to get by.
[322.2s] Boys, we got company.
[323.7s] And out of the bushes step three more gnolls, two with spears, one with a flaming torch.
[328.9s] They walk into the middle of the bridge and they stop and just stare at you.
[332.8s] As you hear a thunderous crash, as something takes what you can only assume
[337.9s] is an enormous lumbering step through the surrounding trees.
[342.6s] I pee my pants.
[346.0s] I don't.
[346.5s] I'm just kidding.
[347.3s] I'm just kidding.
[347.8s] That's not canon.
[348.5s] That didn't happen.
[349.2s] The gnoll calls out to you.
[350.7s] He says, we need your gold and your weapons.
[354.8s] Then you can get by.
[356.6s] I call back.
[358.3s] All that?
[359.7s] They kind of look at each other confused and say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all of it.
[363.8s] All of it.
[365.0s] Oh, like every piece?
[369.8s] Like every, every single piece.
[377.0s] No.
[381.8s] And there's another thunderous crash as you see the trees.
[385.2s] I'm imagining like we're not like right up to it yet.
[387.8s] Like we're coming up to it.
[389.6s] So it's like, I really pictured it.
[392.3s] It was just really funny.
[393.8s] I wasn't sure where you were going with your like all of the questions.
[399.8s] Oh, shit.
[400.6s] That happened in character.
[401.6s] I started laughing because it was really funny.
[404.7s] I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
[410.2s] yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
[415.1s] yeah, yeah, yeah.
[417.8s] You hear another thunderous crash and the trees at the edge of the forest
[422.2s] begin to shake and part and out comes the snout of what looks like a large dinosaur.
[431.8s] What?
[432.3s] What kind of dinosaur?
[433.8s] Tyrannosaurus rex comes barreling out of the trees and beside the river
[439.9s] being ridden by another gnoll.
[442.2s] I thought you were going to say by being ridden by another smaller Tyrannosaurus rex.
[448.4s] So Dumbgeons and Dragons is not crazy town.
[451.0s] Well, there's T-Rex in Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[453.4s] What do I know?
[454.0s] Dinos on dinos.
[455.8s] Oh, man.
[457.1s] And how many original gnolls were there?
[460.0s] There are four on the bridge.
[463.0s] One riding a large Tyrannosaurus rex now in view.
[467.2s] And what color is the Tyrannosaurus rex?
[470.0s] Is it covered with feathers?
[472.8s] No, no, this one is not covered with feathers.
[474.8s] More scaly Tyrannosaurus rex.
[478.2s] Hold, please.
[479.1s] Can Addison say what color the Tyrannosaurus rex is?
[482.3s] Daddy just said that a big T-Rex came out of the forest
[486.4s] and Carla wants to know what color it is.
[488.9s] Can you choose the color for us?
[490.7s] It's pink.
[491.4s] Of course it is.
[492.6s] Can you come and say it into the microphone?
[495.1s] No.
[495.7s] There is a pink dinosaur.
[497.6s] Pink dinosaur that has come out of the trees
[500.6s] being ridden by an angry looking gnoll.
[503.5s] He should be not angry.
[505.0s] He should be happy.
[505.8s] He's riding a T-Rex.
[508.8s] Get your priorities straight, gnoll.
[511.1s] He's probably less angry about riding the T-Rex
[513.8s] but more angry at you guys and having not paid up.
[517.1s] It's a pretty baller move
[518.3s] to be riding a fucking dinosaur.
[520.2s] So just enjoy it, man.
[522.2s] And they all draw their weapons and say,
[525.5s] you're going to pay up now?
[527.0s] Still, no.
[528.2s] No.
[530.3s] Jesus.
[531.8s] This is easier with different people.
[535.8s] That is, I think it's Dumbgeons and Dragons colon.
[541.9s] This would be easier with other people.
[546.0s] Yeah, I think that might just be the tagline for this whole thing.
[550.6s] At least in Russ's mind.
[552.7s] I don't think we have any gold
[554.1s] but I'm sure not giving it to these dummies.
[556.6s] I think I really do have gold
[558.4s] but I'm certainly not giving it to these dummies.
[561.1s] Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have gold.
[563.0s] I'm sure we do.
[564.4s] I definitely have a dope flaming sword
[566.8s] that I'm going to stab something with
[568.6s] rather than handing it over.
[570.0s] So I have 390 gold pieces, 162 silver and 704 copper.
[576.0s] You're rich.
[576.7s] And he calls out, I hear you have 390 gold pieces.
[580.9s] Hand that over.
[582.0s] Nine-year business.
[584.2s] All right, roll for initiative.
[586.5s] Yeah, we're not.
[587.8s] We're not having any of this.
[591.0s] Seven.
[591.6s] 17, 18.
[593.5s] 14.
[594.1s] Okay, he says, well, you don't pay.
[595.9s] We sink your boat then.
[598.0s] You sink our boat?
[599.0s] I cut your throat.
[600.2s] And it's your turn, Thea.
[604.2s] I think it's a good one.
[605.8s] Sassy today.
[607.2s] Amy came to play.
[608.7s] I did.
[609.4s] She's fighting in rhyming couplets.
[611.4s] I am.
[612.4s] Okay.
[614.3s] Here's what I'm going to do.
[616.1s] How far are we from this boat?
[617.7s] You're far enough that you can yell.
[618.8s] So you're like, you're 45 floating towards.
[622.2s] 45 floating towards.
[624.3s] All right.
[624.8s] Well, I assume this is a wooden bridge.
[627.1s] It appears to be wooden.
[628.6s] Yes.
[629.8s] So I cast flaming sphere right in the middle of that bridge.
[637.6s] It's a five-foot diameter.
[639.9s] All of the gnolls are standing in the middle of the bridge.
[644.0s] So you'd probably hit.
[645.5s] Are you like in the middle of the bridge?
[648.8s] Like through the planks?
[651.1s] Or are you trying to hit the gnolls?
[652.5s] I'm trying to hit the gnolls.
[653.5s] But if I set the bridge on fire, it's just okay.
[655.9s] So yeah, you'd probably hit two of them.
[659.0s] The one who was talking to you and one of the others with one of the spears.
[665.4s] Oh, wait, did we?
[666.5s] Okay, so those creatures must make a saving throw against the sphere's damage.
[669.9s] Dexterity or?
[671.3s] Yes.
[671.7s] So the guy who was talking to you, he gets a six.
[677.0s] And the other guy gets a 12.
[678.7s] And that also doesn't work.
[679.8s] So they both get 2d6 flame damage, fire damage.
[687.3s] So that is seven damage.
[689.4s] So your sphere comes up in the middle of this bridge.
[693.4s] Like half on top, half on the bottom.
[695.2s] Hurts the guys on the top.
[696.4s] Yeah, and strikes the main gnoll and one of the others carrying a spear.
[702.6s] And they take the seven damage.
[704.8s] But also the bridge sets a blaze and is starting to burn down now.
[709.9s] Good.
[710.5s] Now it is the dinosaur's turn.
[715.2s] Guys, I should have attacked the dinosaur.
[718.6s] I kind of want to ride it.
[719.8s] Okay, so the dinosaur is going to run over.
[723.6s] This is a large dinosaur.
[725.1s] Like he is a huge beast, which is...
[730.2s] We're thinking T-Rex from Jurassic Park.
[732.7s] Yeah, oh yeah.
[734.2s] It says it occupies a space 15 by 15.
[736.9s] But yeah, he's probably on the high end of that.
[739.9s] So it's a big dinosaur.
[741.8s] So he's going to come over and he's going to jump into the river and swing its tail at your boat.
[749.3s] Russ, I'm going to need you to pipe in the Jurassic Park theme song.
[753.3s] Sure.
[753.9s] Are we allowed to do that?
[755.8s] Well, I'll find something that sounds similar.
[757.9s] Yeah, it'll be fine.
[758.6s] No, I want the exact song.
[759.8s] Can we hum it?
[760.8s] All right, I'll send the bill to you there, Tom.
[764.1s] Wait, we have to pay for things?
[765.7s] I know, right?
[766.3s] I don't want it anymore.
[768.6s] So he is going to swing its tail and that is going to hit for 3d8 plus seven damage on your boat.
[778.6s] 20 damage to your boat.
[780.0s] So your boat isn't a large boat.
[782.4s] So the side of the hull cracks under this pressure and begins to take on water.
[791.1s] Now it is Nularaaais.
[793.7s] Great.
[794.2s] I'm going to cast Animal Friendship on the dinosaur.
[799.9s] Okay.
[800.8s] I'm going to say hey Dino, Dino, Dino.
[803.7s] Hey Dino, Dino.
[805.8s] And because even grumpy Nularaaais talks to animals in baby voices.
[811.8s] Oh, of course.
[813.0s] What is that dinosaur's intelligence?
[815.0s] It's not a very smart dinosaur.
[818.3s] His intelligence is two.
[820.2s] Perfect.
[821.0s] That means I can at least cast the spell.
[824.3s] He has to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be charmed for 24 hours by me.
[832.3s] 24 hours.
[834.8s] Look at that.
[835.6s] Okay.
[835.8s] So wisdom saving throw for this dinosaur.
[838.3s] Yes.
[840.1s] His wisdom is pretty good.
[844.5s] He's got street smarts.
[846.2s] Just not book learning.
[848.4s] So that's a 12.
[849.8s] And what I don't think I've ever made anyone do anything before.
[853.0s] Does that just go against my wisdom?
[855.3s] No, it goes against your spell save DC.
[859.4s] So on your spells page you've got the middle number.
[864.1s] That is a 14.
[866.2s] So it did not beat your spell save DC.
[868.8s] So it is now charmed.
[871.0s] What does that mean?
[871.8s] Do you get to tell it what to do?
[874.6s] Yeah, I think so.
[876.7s] It lets me convince a beast that I mean it no harm.
[880.2s] So I don't really get to tell it what to do,
[882.2s] but I don't think it's going to keep trying to hurt us.
[885.1s] That's fantastic.
[887.0s] Yeah.
[887.4s] So if you or one of your companions harms the target, the spell ends.
[892.1s] What do you say to this dinosaur?
[894.8s] I say, hey Dino, we're just real nice.
[898.8s] We're not going to hurt you.
[900.1s] I reach into my pocket and pull out a steak.
[903.4s] I don't know, I was going to say a small piece of something,
[905.2s] but it's a giant dinosaur.
[907.6s] I'm sure you've got rations.
[909.4s] Yeah, exactly.
[910.0s] Who doesn't have ribeye in their pockets?
[912.6s] We travel in found boat in style.
[915.8s] Just general like, shh, shh, shh, shh.
[918.2s] Oh, it's okay.
[919.6s] It's okay.
[920.6s] Throw some food at it.
[922.5s] Uh, so now we're friends.
[924.0s] The dinosaur, so it had its tail to you,
[926.6s] but it's kind of take a swing around and you begin talking to this
[929.6s] and casting animal friendship on it.
[931.8s] And you see it kind of look at you and then its eyes kind of soften to you
[938.9s] and gives a look to the gnoll on its back.
[943.8s] Like it maybe doesn't want to be ridden right now.
[946.3s] Your next thing.
[948.2s] How close is it to us?
[949.9s] Well, it just whacked the boat with its tail.
[952.7s] So it's pretty, pretty close.
[955.4s] Like on top of it?
[956.6s] Essentially.
[956.9s] Like right beside us, basically.
[958.4s] Yeah, it's in the river with you.
[960.2s] So I could attack the gnoll on its back.
[962.5s] You'd have to jump up onto the dinosaur, but yeah.
[965.9s] I want to, it's my friend.
[968.2s] All right, then yeah.
[969.4s] It won't even hurt me.
[971.3s] Okay, then I am going to attack that gnoll on its back.
[976.1s] Sure.
[977.1s] Uh, and that is, sorry.
[979.9s] I flipped my spells page for the first time in ever.
[984.1s] Bear with me.
[985.9s] So that is, uh, oh yeah, I got a plus 10.
[988.8s] So that's a 20.
[991.6s] Yeah, 20 will be good.
[993.0s] Okay.
[993.6s] And that guy gets 13 damage.
[997.0s] You leap up onto this dinosaur and swing your sword at it.
[1000.7s] And he is perhaps a little startled by this event and takes your hit
[1006.1s] and is knocked off into the river.
[1008.2s] Sweet.
[1008.8s] And now you are on top of the dinosaur.
[1012.3s] So Donnie, while this is happening, is like kind of pissed at me
[1017.2s] because I just made a new fucking T-Rex friend and he's like a bit jealous.
[1022.3s] So I think he's not really going to even take a turn this turn
[1024.9s] because he's mad at me and he's being a baby.
[1028.3s] He's kind of just, he flew over to one of the trees and he's like,
[1031.4s] fine, if she doesn't want me as a friend, I'm just going to let her die.
[1034.7s] And exactly.
[1037.5s] Was there a saddle on the dino?
[1039.9s] Yes, there is a saddle.
[1041.1s] Can I get in the saddle on the dino now that I'm on the back of it?
[1045.2s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1046.2s] But that's the end of your turn.
[1047.1s] No more, no more messing with the dinosaurs.
[1049.0s] No, that's all I like.
[1050.5s] What more could I want to do, Russ?
[1052.7s] All my dreams have come true.
[1054.4s] Ride the pink dinosaur.
[1056.0s] Now it's the gnolls on the bridge turn.
[1058.3s] So the bridge is set ablaze.
[1059.7s] So they are, the two that took the damage are going to actually
[1063.5s] jump off the bridge and into the water.
[1066.3s] The other two are going to,
[1069.1s] they're just going to run off the side and down into the trees.
[1074.3s] And then the one carrying the spear is going to throw his spear
[1079.0s] at Thea on the boat.
[1081.1s] Come at me, bro.
[1082.7s] That's a 17.
[1084.6s] Yeah, it just barely hits me.
[1086.3s] Five damages.
[1087.3s] The spear comes out of the trees and strikes you.
[1089.9s] They are in the trees and you hear them kind of yelling out into the trees saying,
[1095.2s] we got some trouble, guys.
[1096.5s] Trouble, trouble at the bridge.
[1098.4s] And now it's Flint's turn.
[1099.7s] All right.
[1099.9s] How far away are these guys when they're in the trees?
[1103.0s] Your boat has is now taking on water,
[1105.1s] but it's still floating forward.
[1106.3s] So you're within 30 feet from where they were within radius of 30 feet.
[1111.0s] Okay.
[1111.9s] I would.
[1112.8s] And am I able to see them still or are they like hidden?
[1115.9s] You can kind of see them a little bit.
[1117.6s] They're kind of poking in and out behind the behind the trees.
[1121.6s] So but you can see about where they are, but not a direct line of sight
[1125.3s] if you were to make any sort of ranged attack.
[1127.4s] So I don't have a clear shot at them is what you're telling me.
[1129.9s] Yes.
[1130.3s] All right.
[1131.0s] How deep is this river?
[1132.1s] That comes up about halfway up the thigh on the dinosaur.
[1134.7s] So it's probably way over your head.
[1139.0s] I'd say it's probably like five to six feet deep in the middle.
[1142.4s] Okay.
[1143.5s] Is there I have my Smith tools with me.
[1147.7s] Is there any way I can like repair the hull of the boat as we're going?
[1152.1s] You could certainly do give it give a try.
[1154.4s] Yeah.
[1155.1s] Maybe make a I guess that is a strength attribute that you have associated with that.
[1160.3s] So yeah, but I just your Smith's tools.
[1163.1s] That's your proficiency with your Smith's tool.
[1164.7s] So just make a Smith's tools check and then you add that seven there.
[1168.3s] Sweet.
[1169.1s] I'm down with that.
[1171.7s] That is a 22.
[1173.2s] 22.
[1173.7s] So you are able to with some of the extra materials that are on the boat, you begin
[1179.1s] to block up some of the water.
[1180.6s] So it's taking on less water, but it's still still not doing so great.
[1185.7s] It took a big hit from this dinosaur.
[1187.9s] All right.
[1188.9s] Is that my both actions or was that just one?
[1192.0s] That's just one of them.
[1192.7s] I guess.
[1193.5s] Well, I can see those guys of where they kind of are over on the side.
[1198.4s] Yeah, I'm going to unleash my lightning breath towards them and see if I can either hurt them
[1205.0s] or get them the hell out of here for a bit.
[1207.1s] Okay.
[1207.6s] What's the range on your lightning breath?
[1209.2s] 30 feet.
[1210.2s] Of course it is.
[1212.0s] You did say they were about 30 feet away.
[1214.1s] Yeah, I did.
[1214.6s] So yeah, that's that's totally cool.
[1216.2s] Excellent.
[1216.9s] All right.
[1217.1s] Since I've never done this before, what do I roll, Russ?
[1219.7s] Or do I roll anything?
[1220.7s] Yeah, you kind of accidentally did it that one time.
[1223.1s] So yeah, but I didn't roll it.
[1225.3s] No, no.
[1225.9s] Yeah, okay, can I see that?
[1229.1s] My notes say eight plus con modifier plus proficiency.
[1233.9s] I don't know what that means, but that's what I've written down.
[1236.2s] So breath weapon.
[1237.1s] When you use that, each creature in the area of the exhalation must make a saving throw,
[1243.4s] the type of which is determined by your draconic ancestry.
[1246.9s] The DC for this saving throw equals eight plus your constitution modifier plus your proficiency
[1252.7s] bonus.
[1253.2s] Okay.
[1253.3s] So they have to make a save and you have lightning.
[1256.5s] So that is a dex save.
[1258.3s] Yeah, it says dex save.
[1260.2s] So you would probably be able to hit two of them depending on which side of the river
[1264.7s] because there's two on each side of the river.
[1266.2s] Okay, I'm going to go for the side that does not have the dragon or the t-rex in
[1270.5s] the way at all because I don't want to hurt it.
[1272.4s] Yeah, for sure.
[1272.9s] So that would be the right side of the river.
[1275.2s] Okey-dokey.
[1276.1s] The so-called leader and the guy who threw the spear.
[1279.4s] Okay, they have to be 16, by the way.
[1282.8s] The leader gets a 17, the other guy gets a seven.
[1287.6s] So he takes a full brunt, but the other guy takes half on a successful save.
[1294.7s] All right, would you just like one damage roll for the both of them?
[1297.5s] Yeah.
[1298.2s] Okay, 13 damage.
[1301.0s] So I guess six to the leader.
[1302.7s] Yeah, you hear them kind of let out a dog-like yelp from behind the trees and
[1309.0s] your lightning also sets the tree on fire as well.
[1313.7s] Oops.
[1314.4s] Yeah, it is now Thea's turn.
[1316.6s] I'm going to move that big old fireball.
[1319.8s] Who can I see within my like who is whackable?
[1323.3s] You're still in the boat, staking water.
[1326.1s] The bridge is fully ablaze.
[1329.8s] You can see there's the dinosaur kind of the right to the left of the boat.
[1334.6s] The gnoll from the top of the dinosaur has been knocked down into the river
[1338.1s] and is floating towards the bridge now.
[1340.4s] And there are two on either side, semi-hidden behind trees.
[1347.7s] Okay, I'm just going to like delay moving my sphere.
[1352.3s] And I will jump from the boat toward the edge of the water.
[1359.5s] And in midair, change myself into a large monstrosity of a winter wolf.
[1367.8s] So I do that and I change into the winter wolf and I go sprinting into the forest.
[1372.7s] I move very quickly, speed of 50.
[1374.9s] So I'm going to like whip over there and I'm going to bite the first gnoll.
[1384.1s] Okay.
[1385.1s] And have to roll that.
[1388.7s] 15.
[1389.5s] Hits.
[1390.2s] Okay, cool.
[1392.0s] So he gets 2d6 plus 4.
[1394.8s] Five, four, nine, so 13 damage.
[1399.6s] And he has to make a saving throw, strength saving throw.
[1405.0s] Or be knocked prone.
[1407.0s] And you guys, you guys, I have something called cold breath.
[1410.0s] It's a 20 on the save.
[1411.8s] Well, then he is not knocked prone because it does take my damage.
[1415.1s] Okay, you leap from the boat and midair you take in the energy of
[1421.5s] the surrounding trees and you morph into this huge winter wolf.
[1427.4s] And you sprint in the blink of an eye over to the edge of the trees
[1430.7s] and sink your teeth into the leader gnoll.
[1435.2s] And he takes that damage, but you aren't able to knock him down.
[1439.1s] Way to wild shape.
[1440.3s] Thanks.
[1440.7s] It's the first time you've...
[1441.9s] No, that's not true because you've changed into a rat.
[1444.8s] And a bug.
[1445.8s] And a bug.
[1446.9s] And I think maybe a small lizard.
[1449.3s] First battle you've changed into.
[1451.0s] First badass thing I've changed into.
[1453.9s] Okay.
[1454.6s] I couldn't be squashed with a book.
[1456.5s] So it's the, that's all you, you know, okay.
[1460.1s] Because I'm, I'm delaying my...
[1462.0s] Well, yeah, it's a bonus action on your turn though.
[1464.7s] Okay, so I'm just not using it for now.
[1467.2s] It's just going to continue to burn the bridge down.
[1469.2s] Okay, it's the dinosaur's turn.
[1471.3s] So it's, it's taking your, your suggestions there, Nulara.
[1476.5s] Oh, I mean, that's cool.
[1481.7s] If you're clapping.
[1482.3s] Whatever, no big deal.
[1484.7s] I, so there's two on the side of the river that I'm on.
[1487.9s] Yeah, two onto the left side.
[1489.9s] Flint and Thea have both attacked the gnolls to the right.
[1492.8s] Perfect.
[1493.4s] So, I mean, it'd be just real great if that dino could get me over a bit closer to the land.
[1499.8s] So that I can attack on my turn.
[1503.0s] I assume I can't get him to like fight for me.
[1505.6s] Because that seems crazy.
[1508.1s] I mean, if you let me, that's great.
[1509.5s] But what's gonna happen?
[1513.4s] I mean, he would have otherwise attacked you.
[1517.0s] So I, if you want him to try and attack something.
[1520.1s] Do you think the gnoll just had cast animal friendship on him?
[1522.7s] And then I did it better.
[1523.8s] So now he likes me better.
[1525.7s] You don't know.
[1526.3s] Perfect.
[1526.7s] You don't know that.
[1527.1s] Well, let's fucking get over there.
[1528.6s] And that dino can use his big tail to try and knock over a gnoll or two.
[1533.9s] Sure.
[1535.2s] Whacking gnoll.
[1538.3s] Oh, hey, also amazing fact that has never come up before.
[1541.1s] Because I don't think we've ever fought gnolls before.
[1543.6s] They are one of my favorite enemies.
[1545.9s] Which I just opened the book to read about and like basically gets me nothing.
[1550.7s] Unless we need to track them or something.
[1553.1s] But I just wanted you to know that I looked it up for us.
[1555.7s] So I knew.
[1556.3s] I appreciate that.
[1557.9s] We have fought gnolls before, but that was in Brozen Dragons.
[1561.0s] Oh, that was in Brozen Dragons.
[1562.3s] Oh, yeah.
[1562.8s] Okay.
[1563.1s] Yeah.
[1563.5s] Right.
[1564.4s] Well, I didn't know that.
[1565.5s] And then Carla said something about them being her favorite enemy
[1568.7s] and how Russ never plays against favorite enemies.
[1573.3s] I don't remember any of that.
[1577.5s] So here's your gnolls.
[1578.6s] Okay.
[1578.9s] I really appreciate it.
[1580.7s] Okay.
[1581.0s] So what do you tell the dinosaur to do?
[1583.6s] What should I call the dino, you guys?
[1586.4s] I don't have a good dino name.
[1588.1s] I'm drawing a complete blank.
[1589.9s] I'm only coming up with things like Rex.
[1592.4s] Rexy.
[1593.8s] I like it.
[1595.1s] No, that's fine.
[1595.9s] New Laura is not like, you know, she'd say something clever,
[1599.5s] like something like she's not clever like Fia.
[1602.2s] I think she would be like, okay.
[1604.7s] Okay, Rexy, let's go over there.
[1606.3s] Let's knock those gnolls over.
[1607.6s] What do you think?
[1608.7s] And I'm like, you know, petting his neck.
[1611.7s] And Rexy runs over to the edge of the forest
[1615.0s] and then he's going to attack those two gnolls.
[1617.9s] Yeah, he runs over and swings his tail
[1621.8s] and knocks down some trees in the way,
[1625.3s] which the gnolls manage to get away from the trees.
[1628.2s] But then he spins around and takes a bite
[1631.1s] at one of those gnolls.
[1635.1s] Hits for 4d12 plus seven piercing damage.
[1643.0s] What?
[1644.4s] I think he might just consume this thing.
[1647.4s] You can roll that 4d12 plus seven if you want there.
[1651.2s] Oh, my goodness.
[1652.3s] Okay.
[1654.1s] There is a saving throw for grapple,
[1655.9s] but I don't know if we're going to get that far.
[1659.5s] 23, 35 plus seven, so 42.
[1667.9s] Oh, my God.
[1669.4s] It's the most damage I've ever doled out
[1671.6s] and I didn't even do it.
[1674.6s] Rexy grabs hold of this gnoll and bites into it
[1679.9s] and it just explodes in his mouth
[1684.7s] as he's shaking it like a dog.
[1687.2s] Great.
[1688.6s] Yeah, and that's Rexy's turn.
[1692.0s] Now, Nularaaaia, it's your turn.
[1693.5s] Yay.
[1694.8s] Okay, how close am I to that other gnoll?
[1697.1s] Probably pretty close, right?
[1698.6s] Pretty, pretty close.
[1700.5s] Okay, I'm going to try and hit him with my sword
[1703.4s] from dino back.
[1706.3s] 24.
[1708.1s] Hold on, you're trying to hit him
[1709.5s] from the top of the dino sword?
[1711.2s] Yeah, am I too high up?
[1713.1s] Yeah, you're probably too high up.
[1714.6s] Okay, can I slide down his tail
[1716.1s] end of the Flintstone style?
[1718.7s] Absolutely.
[1719.3s] Okay, so I slide down his tail
[1722.3s] and it kind of launches me up into the air
[1724.8s] because I was real inspired by Thea's dope ass
[1729.3s] mid-flight wolf change into.
[1733.1s] So I'm going to fly up into the air,
[1736.9s] off the tail like in the Flintstones
[1739.5s] and then I'm going to try and hit it
[1741.5s] with my sword on the way down
[1744.7s] and I roll to 24.
[1747.0s] And that's going to hit, yep.
[1749.0s] 17 damage.
[1750.2s] You fly through the air
[1752.3s] after your sweet Flintstones move
[1754.8s] and take a huge chunk out of this gnoll.
[1757.9s] You want to roll some percentile dice for me?
[1760.3s] Yep, 82.
[1763.0s] When you cut through,
[1764.0s] you cut through and one of his arms falls off.
[1766.9s] Oh God.
[1769.8s] So that's the end of my turn.
[1771.0s] Donny's still not really going to do anything
[1773.0s] but he is a big fan of Rex now.
[1776.2s] Like he is not even jealous anymore
[1778.2s] because he just saw him
[1780.0s] chomp the shit out of a gnoll
[1782.0s] and he's so into it.
[1783.7s] So he's going to go and like fly up
[1785.8s] and land on his head,
[1787.0s] try and like be buds with him.
[1789.9s] Nice, nice.
[1791.5s] Okay, then it is the gnoll's turn
[1796.3s] and the gnolls,
[1797.4s] having seen all of this massacre,
[1800.4s] they scream to each other,
[1802.8s] run boys, run!
[1804.7s] And they start high tailing it into the forest,
[1808.3s] all seemingly going in different directions
[1811.1s] and there's still one gnoll floating down the river
[1814.7s] and he's just kind of just letting himself float there,
[1817.7s] trying to be as still as possible.
[1821.1s] Is he floating face down?
[1822.5s] T-Rex's can't see movement, so.
[1824.3s] Yeah, so hoping that nobody sees him.
[1827.0s] He's not floating face down.
[1828.0s] He's just kind of floating on his back,
[1830.7s] a little concerned in his eye
[1832.6s] but they are using the dash action
[1834.9s] to run away from you
[1835.8s] so they run twice their speed
[1837.0s] so they are now 60 feet from you
[1839.9s] and it is Flynn's turn.
[1842.8s] Wait, I thought they were all gone.
[1845.5s] Well they're running into the woods
[1846.4s] so you guys would now decide
[1847.9s] if you want to pursue
[1849.1s] or if you just wanna just leave it.
[1852.3s] I'm happy to let them run away.
[1854.9s] Me too, yeah.
[1855.9s] If we wanna track them,
[1857.2s] then we'd have advantage
[1858.4s] but I don't know why we would do that.
[1862.0s] Woof woof.
[1866.4s] I forgot she was a wolf.
[1867.5s] Okay, so the encounter is done.
[1869.9s] What do you guys wanna do?
[1871.1s] Your boat is essentially,
[1874.3s] it's on the bottom of the lake now.
[1877.1s] Hey, how big is Rex?
[1878.7s] He's real big, hey?
[1880.3s] Yeah, he's real big.
[1881.2s] Can my friends get on?
[1883.2s] Can my friends get on
[1884.2s] and we ride the dino down the river
[1885.6s] to our destination?
[1886.7s] Yeah, so you guys are headed to Luskin.
[1888.7s] So yeah, if you wanna roll in.
[1891.3s] Best game ever.
[1894.1s] Sorry, D&D is so fun.
[1898.1s] I will run alongside.
[1900.0s] Oh yeah, you're still a wolf.
[1901.9s] And I did this
[1903.4s] and only got to do one thing
[1904.8s] so I'm just gonna stay a wolf for a while.
[1908.2s] Just seeing how long I can stay a wolfie.
[1911.1s] You, Flint and Nulara
[1914.0s] are riding this dinosaur
[1915.3s] as you tromp through the forest
[1919.0s] on dinosaur back.
[1920.8s] And Thea's running alongside
[1922.3s] as her winter wolf.
[1923.6s] And you are traveling through
[1926.3s] and Donny's able to telepathically communicate.
[1930.2s] And he shows you, Nulara,
[1932.3s] images of how these gnolls
[1934.8s] got ahold of this dinosaur.
[1936.3s] And you know that there are dinosaurs
[1938.6s] in the world, obviously.
[1940.2s] But you yourselves haven't seen
[1942.5s] many of them, if at all.
[1944.2s] You know they're kind of more
[1945.3s] in a southern region of Faerun.
[1948.1s] And you see packs of gnolls
[1951.5s] surrounding this dinosaur
[1953.1s] and its other dinosaurs in the area.
[1957.5s] And taking them captive
[1959.6s] and using them as weapons
[1963.1s] and using them to extort money from people
[1966.7s] and steal their weapons
[1968.5s] and kill people.
[1970.3s] So that is how the gnolls
[1972.3s] got ahold of this dinosaur.
[1973.9s] Well, that's sad.
[1975.1s] It is sad.
[1976.3s] We should stop that.
[1978.0s] No wonder she hates gnolls.
[1979.5s] Yeah, exactly.
[1980.4s] No wonder she was so willing
[1981.8s] to be our friend.
[1982.7s] I think he was talking about you.
[1984.1s] Oh, I was, but that totally works.
[1988.1s] Well, now I really extra hate them.
[1990.0s] Carla's talking in third person now.
[1993.0s] Can Thea and Nulara even,
[1996.3s] like, go forward knowing
[1999.1s] there's a whole species of animal
[2001.5s] that's being enslaved?
[2003.5s] Yeah, like is that in the south
[2007.6s] or is that like, I don't know.
[2009.6s] Happening in the woods here.
[2010.7s] Yeah, exactly.
[2011.6s] Slavery in the south, hey?
[2014.3s] Yeah, the images you saw
[2017.9s] were kind of from
[2019.2s] where they were more native to.
[2021.1s] But through some of the images
[2022.7s] you've seen them traveling
[2025.0s] through Faerun.
[2025.8s] So this is where they have ended up.
[2027.5s] So they're safe to assume
[2029.1s] that there may be an encampment
[2031.0s] in the area, but you didn't see
[2033.8s] many images of a specific
[2035.9s] encampment in this area.
[2037.4s] Oh, but they did call out for
[2040.0s] help at one point.
[2041.3s] Yeah, yeah, totally.
[2045.8s] Because they knew how intimidating we are.
[2049.0s] Just kidding.
[2049.9s] Amy, I think you're right.
[2052.3s] Like, character wise, I can't imagine
[2054.9s] that the ranger and the druid
[2057.9s] who are like so in love with nature
[2060.4s] are like, no, this is fine.
[2062.1s] Yeah, no, it's not going to fly.
[2063.3s] And now we have a dinosaur
[2064.6s] of our very own.
[2065.8s] Exactly. Now we have
[2066.7s] a new dino best friend.
[2068.8s] So can I, I guess, assume
[2071.5s] all of this happens like
[2075.1s] via me to Donnie to Rex and back?
[2079.4s] Like, if he knows where they are
[2083.1s] or I'm saying he and she,
[2085.4s] I don't know if it's a boy or a girl dino.
[2087.5s] We're not that close yet.
[2089.0s] Sure.
[2089.7s] So is there a way to find out
[2093.1s] like where this might be
[2094.8s] or if she can take us there?
[2098.1s] Donnie converses as much as he can
[2100.3s] with the dinosaur and he tells you
[2103.3s] that she thinks she can lead us
[2107.0s] to where the encampments are.
[2111.5s] If we want to go see what's going on there.
[2114.0s] Theo lets out kind of a high whine.
[2117.7s] Like, agree.
[2119.6s] Flint, what do you think?
[2121.6s] Oh, I'm on board with
[2122.7s] whatever you guys want to do.
[2124.3s] Okay.
[2125.1s] Let's go fuck up some gnolls.
[2127.9s] The dinosaur takes a turn
[2130.2s] into the forest and to the left
[2133.0s] and leads you through the trees.
[2135.2s] And after traveling a little ways,
[2137.7s] stops a ways out.
[2138.7s] And then Donnie says that
[2140.2s] the encampment should be not too far out.
[2143.5s] But I told her to stop just in case,
[2146.0s] you know, setting off any alarms or anything.
[2148.3s] Can Donnie fly in the direction
[2150.7s] of the encampment
[2152.4s] and like do some recon for us?
[2154.3s] Yeah.
[2154.7s] Sweet.
[2155.3s] Donnie flies in above the trees
[2158.3s] and then down into where
[2161.4s] he comes across an encampment,
[2163.6s] which is about in the direction
[2165.4s] the dinosaur was taking you.
[2167.9s] He sends some images back
[2169.5s] that he is seeing telepathically to you.
[2172.8s] That there appear to be
[2174.8s] what you can count up as 15 or so gnolls.
[2179.2s] And there are three other dinosaurs,
[2182.5s] one Allosaurus and two Velociraptors
[2185.8s] that are tied and held in their encampment there.
[2189.5s] So real fucked up ending to land before time.
[2191.8s] Yeah, this was the director's cut.
[2193.4s] It turns out they didn't like it
[2194.6s] for the children's movie.
[2195.9s] The gnolls don't appear to be set off by anything.
[2199.2s] So they are just kind of going about their business,
[2202.2s] eating scraps of meat
[2203.5s] and squabbling amongst themselves.
[2205.9s] What do we want to do?
[2206.7s] Do we just want to like barge in here
[2208.3s] and just go nuts?
[2209.5s] Yeah, I mean, maybe like a sneak attack
[2212.0s] would be would be good just to get advantage.
[2216.2s] I can run in behind them very stealthily.
[2219.9s] Oh, yeah, you've got the super stealth.
[2221.7s] I was thinking we could,
[2224.1s] because it'll be hard to get a sneak attack with Rex.
[2228.8s] But the three of us,
[2230.4s] well, the four of us with Donnie could go
[2233.1s] and then, you know,
[2235.6s] just tell Rex to wait a minute and then come.
[2238.5s] Yeah, I could kind of circle around
[2240.7s] and come in from behind and cold breath.
[2243.9s] I don't know whoever is within a 15 foot cone of me.
[2246.6s] I like it.
[2247.2s] I'm on board.
[2248.0s] Yeah, this this sounds like a good strategy.
[2250.7s] You hop off the dinosaur
[2252.4s] and start making your way towards where the encampment is.
[2256.7s] Make a perception check, everybody,
[2258.9s] as you're going through.
[2261.3s] 14.
[2262.0s] 17.
[2262.8s] Is that real?
[2264.4s] Sorry, I guess 22.
[2266.4s] I guess I have a plus 6 to perception.
[2269.5s] I'm trying to like it's it's only on that lower list, right?
[2273.9s] Oh, shit.
[2275.1s] I got all kinds of perception.
[2277.1s] Okay.
[2278.3s] Yeah, it seemed so high.
[2281.0s] So, yeah, 22 for me.
[2283.4s] About 40 feet out from where you think the encampment is.
[2286.3s] Nularaaaa, you see laid out in your path there
[2290.3s] and you stop short of a what looks like a net trap.
[2294.2s] And Thea, you're running around and you see off to the side
[2299.4s] and where you are getting close to where you want to enter.
[2303.1s] You see a trip wire.
[2305.1s] What looks like it connects to a log fall trap.
[2310.0s] But you see these and you're able to bypass them.
[2313.1s] You make it to the edge of the encampment.
[2316.2s] Thea, you make it.
[2317.3s] Can we coordinate a surprise attack from both ends?
[2320.7s] Yeah, I mean, you can use Donnie
[2321.9s] as kind of a telepathic go between.
[2324.4s] So yes, Thea, you see you come into the
[2327.1s] into the backside of this encampment
[2328.8s] and you see you are where the three dinosaurs are.
[2331.9s] So there's the two velociraptors and the allosaurus
[2334.3s] tied up and then there are three other gnolls guarding
[2338.1s] but they're more just kind of hanging out by these dinosaurs.
[2341.2s] Nularaaaa and Flint, you come to the side
[2344.2s] where it appears that it's kind of like the cookout area.
[2348.3s] They've got something on a spit over the fire
[2351.1s] and they are kind of tearing pieces off of this chunk of meat
[2354.4s] that they are all eating around.
[2355.9s] So the bulk of them are on your side
[2358.4s] and then there's just a few back by the dinosaurs where Thea is.
[2361.4s] How wide across is the encampment?
[2363.9s] It's in a clearing of the trees about 60 feet
[2366.9s] and there are some crude built tents set up around this fire
[2371.6s] and into some of the other areas.
[2373.8s] Remember these dinos don't know that we're their friends yet.
[2377.5s] Yeah, I was thinking like,
[2379.1s] maybe I could just go and bite through the ropes
[2381.3s] and I was like, nah, nah, nah.
[2383.1s] Maybe we want them tied up for the first little bit.
[2385.8s] Until Rex gets there and is like, these guys are cool guys.
[2389.3s] Okay, so Thea looks around and looks for where
[2393.9s] there is like the biggest clump
[2397.4s] because I want to hit as many with my cold breath as possible.
[2402.5s] But close to you, there are three gnolls kind of in it.
[2405.3s] Within a 15-foot radius?
[2406.7s] They're kind of just, you know, gnoll conversing.
[2409.5s] They're like, oh, did you see the thing that happened
[2413.6s] that gnolls really like?
[2415.1s] I know, and I saw it the other day
[2417.1s] and it was like crazy, crazy, I know.
[2419.2s] And then one of them punches the other one in the face.
[2421.1s] He's like, that's for stealing my meat, Grog.
[2424.1s] Okay, I don't know, think really loud to Donnie.
[2428.9s] Sure, you guys probably talked about it prior to.
[2431.9s] And a one, two, three, go.
[2435.0s] I like it.
[2435.9s] Thea jumps out from the forested area
[2440.2s] and runs towards the three gnolls that are closest to her.
[2445.6s] And before they are able to do anything,
[2448.5s] she exhales a blast of freezing wind in a 15-foot cone
[2452.7s] and each creature in that area
[2454.0s] must make a dexterity saving throw.
[2458.1s] The highest one's a 12.
[2460.6s] And then a 10 and a 11.
[2463.3s] They had to beat a 12, so.
[2464.8s] He takes half.
[2466.3s] Everyone else takes four D8 cold damage.
[2470.7s] Nice.
[2472.3s] 16.
[2473.6s] So one of them takes eight damage
[2475.3s] and two of them takes 16 cold.
[2478.3s] I like that we're like in bullet time right now
[2480.2s] because that just happened.
[2481.4s] And we still get to go, but it's all at the same time.
[2485.5s] Okay, so what are you guys doing at the same time?
[2487.5s] Flynn, do you want to go?
[2488.4s] I feel you haven't got to do anything dope this round.
[2491.3s] Sure, murder some people, get in there.
[2499.1s] Well, hello again.
[2499.9s] It's me, your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
[2501.7s] Thank you for joining us and continuing on this journey
[2503.9s] for episode 20 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[2506.3s] titled Anole in the River.
[2508.9s] How do you like those dinosaurs?
[2510.2s] Pretty crazy, huh?
[2511.1s] We love D&D and its ability to do some crazy bonkers things.
[2514.8s] Makes it so much fun.
[2516.3s] I don't have a lot to chat about today.
[2517.7s] I just wanted to focus on the wrap up
[2519.3s] of our Patreon launch month.
[2521.2s] We'll be talking about it regularly going forward,
[2523.3s] but less in your face.
[2525.1s] Since we've launched, we've received love
[2526.7s] from five patrons contributing a total of $18 a month,
[2530.3s] which is amazing.
[2531.4s] I don't really know what we expected
[2533.5s] when we started, but we are truly blown away
[2535.2s] by our community's dedication to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2537.8s] I've had the chance to talk to many people about our show
[2540.7s] and how it encourages them to play more and do more
[2543.1s] and step outside their comfort zone within the game.
[2545.5s] And that alone,
[2546.6s] never mind the monetary contributions, is amazing.
[2549.5s] I will again link everything in the description,
[2551.6s] but our page is Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
[2555.8s] It's easy to sign up and become a patron
[2557.9s] for Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2559.3s] You will have access to all of our Patreon-only content,
[2562.7s] which will include the dungeon side-scroller episodes
[2565.3s] that started two weeks ago, DMed by Tom Laird.
[2568.3s] We've already heard from a couple of our patrons
[2570.3s] that that session was a huge driving factor
[2573.2s] pushing them over the edge to contribute to us.
[2575.1s] So thank you for that, Tom is most excited.
[2577.5s] Now, so you know, this specific arc of dungeon side-scrollers
[2580.7s] will be going on for about four to six-ish episodes.
[2584.3s] And then we'll be doing some other stories
[2586.1s] and other games using the same or different characters.
[2589.2s] We have all become attached to the new ones
[2591.0s] in the current dungeon side-scrollers,
[2592.7s] so we will make sure to come back to those
[2594.6s] as regularly as we can.
[2596.5s] We do have higher tiers available,
[2598.2s] a $5 and a $10 with more opportunities
[2600.9s] to be involved with the show,
[2602.4s] including show dedications or naming an NPC
[2605.6s] or providing questions for a future Q&A episode.
[2608.6s] I'm even going to add in a thank you holiday card
[2611.5s] to all patrons just to thank you again
[2614.9s] for coming along for the ride.
[2617.1s] So if that's not there yet,
[2619.1s] know that it will be up there shortly.
[2621.2s] If you can't donate, we totally understand.
[2623.5s] But what you can do to help us
[2625.1s] is continue spreading the word about Dumbgeons and Dragons
[2627.9s] in your everyday life and on social media.
[2630.7s] Please click through to our Patreon page,
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[2635.2s] And if you can and want to be part
[2636.7s] of the Dumb Dragon community,
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[2640.1s] You can also join us on social media.
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[2644.4s] still at dumbdragons.com
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[2656.2s] to dumbdragonpodcast at gmail.com.
[2659.7s] While you're on our website,
[2660.8s] make sure that you check out our Redbubble store
[2663.1s] and our Friends of page
[2664.8s] and click through to support just that,
[2666.8s] Friends of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
[2668.6s] a group of amazing podcasts,
[2670.0s] including Bros & Dragons, American Gods cast,
[2672.6s] Film Roast, and Tales from the Fandom.
[2674.6s] All are amazing people with spectacular shows
[2676.7s] that you should definitely check out.
[2678.3s] All links mentioned today will be in the description,
[2680.5s] so you can find exactly what you're looking for.
[2682.7s] We are so excited for the growth we've seen
[2684.3s] in less than a month with our Patreon community
[2686.2s] and can't wait to see who joins next and what comes next.
[2689.9s] Our next episode will be out September 13th
[2692.4s] and it is the first episode
[2694.0s] that we've played together in the same room in over a year.
[2697.1s] We had a blast recording, playing, and snacking.
[2700.3s] So much snacking.
[2702.4s] Can't wait for you to hear it though.
[2704.1s] Let's get back and go free some dinosaurs, shall we?
[2706.7s] Dinosaurs must be free.
[2708.6s] Have a great couple of weeks
[2709.7s] and a wonderful start to September.
[2711.5s] Talk to you soon.
[2719.1s] Let's, uh, let's coordinate on something.
[2721.5s] Okay.
[2722.6s] Like you're, you want me to throw you?
[2725.5s] He just says up seas.
[2727.1s] He just says up seas and you like throw him into the...
[2731.5s] Well, I was thinking we could both like
[2733.9s] run out there at the same time
[2735.3s] and like hack some people down.
[2736.9s] Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[2738.5s] I like this idea.
[2739.7s] Russ, how many, how many of them are near us?
[2742.7s] You see 10 of them kind of clustered around this food making area.
[2747.8s] Okay, I would like to run to where there's like three or four in a,
[2753.3s] in a small area.
[2755.0s] So they're all kind of surrounding me.
[2757.1s] Sure.
[2758.1s] But I will come in axe swinging.
[2760.7s] Okay.
[2761.7s] Say 23 on my first attack roll.
[2765.7s] Okay, so that will hit.
[2766.9s] Nulara, what are you doing at the same time?
[2768.6s] Same thing.
[2769.0s] Just running in with that dope ass flaming sword.
[2772.2s] Okay.
[2773.5s] Yeah, I assume like another small cluster or the, you know, similar.
[2779.6s] That is, uh, 17.
[2781.5s] 17 will hit.
[2782.7s] Okay.
[2783.7s] Excellent.
[2785.0s] So yeah, you guys run in.
[2786.4s] You're gonna roll me damages.
[2788.8s] Do I ever?
[2790.5s] Eight and six is 14 and four is 18 damage.
[2795.7s] 15 damage for me.
[2797.0s] At the same time, Thea charges out and releases her cold breath,
[2803.2s] killing two of the gnolls and injuring one of them who lets out a loud yell.
[2808.4s] You, uh, Flint and Nulara, you charge into this cookout area
[2815.2s] and the ones that are kind of facing your direction,
[2818.0s] see you and panic, but not before you strike into, um, each a cluster of gnolls.
[2824.7s] And Flint, you manage to kill two gnolls and knock a couple others to the side.
[2829.4s] And Nulara, you kill one gnoll and knock another one into the flame.
[2834.1s] And they all are kind of running about yipping and yelping.
[2838.3s] And let's roll for initiative.
[2842.3s] Uh, over here, it's set three, by the way.
[2845.6s] Um, here it says cold breath.
[2847.6s] And then it says recharge five, six.
[2850.6s] What does that mean?
[2851.3s] On your turn, you roll a D six.
[2853.5s] And then if you roll a five or a six, you can use it again.
[2856.4s] But if not, it's dead.
[2858.1s] Yep.
[2858.8s] I had an 18 Russ.
[2860.5s] I had an 11.
[2861.9s] Say I want to use my cold breath and I roll a four and I can't,
[2864.9s] can I still use my bite?
[2866.7s] Yeah.
[2866.9s] Or am I just gonna like, oh no.
[2869.2s] And then my turn's over.
[2870.4s] You roll to try and recharge it and then you can choose what you want to do.
[2873.2s] Even if you recharge it, you can still use your bite.
[2876.0s] Okay.
[2876.6s] Thank you.
[2876.9s] Oh, so you guys, I speak, I can speak common as a wolf.
[2880.7s] So I've just been growling.
[2882.7s] You've just been fucking with us.
[2884.3s] I have been.
[2885.9s] So I yell over, good job, you guys.
[2891.1s] I mean, in her defense, it's the first time she's done this.
[2894.0s] So true.
[2895.7s] I don't know how to be a wolf.
[2897.4s] I can be a wolf for three hours.
[2899.2s] It's very fun, but you're like a giant wolf, right?
[2903.2s] I am, it says underneath Winter Wolf, large monstrosity.
[2907.8s] Love it.
[2908.3s] Clint, you're up first.
[2909.6s] Okay.
[2910.8s] Around you, there's Nularaaaa knocked one into the flame.
[2915.2s] You knocked two to the ground.
[2916.8s] So they're closest to you.
[2918.7s] You've killed two and then there are more kind of running and scrambling,
[2923.7s] a few within range, but they're kind of running and scrambling,
[2926.4s] yelling out to the ether that they are being attacked.
[2929.7s] Okay, I will run after one of the ones that's somewhat nearby me
[2935.4s] and give the old, like, across my body full swing axe blow to
[2941.8s] basically try and cut them in half.
[2943.2s] Sure, yeah.
[2945.7s] That is a 17.
[2947.2s] 17 will hit, yep.
[2949.6s] 22 damage.
[2951.3s] You cut him a nice hourglass figure.
[2953.2s] So yeah, he's running, yelling for backup and you swing through
[2959.2s] as he turns just to look as the axe of yours cuts through clean and he falls to the ground.
[2966.3s] Is there another one near me or are they all a little further away?
[2970.1s] Some of the ones are a little further away.
[2971.9s] There's still the two on the ground
[2974.4s] and then there's probably at least one more within your range though.
[2978.0s] That's up.
[2978.5s] Alright, I will take a swing at the one that's near me then.
[2984.1s] I'd say 15.
[2985.2s] 15 will hit.
[2986.0s] Hey, there we go.
[2989.2s] 21.
[2989.8s] You swing through and clean cut through this other one
[2993.6s] and on the backswing you come through and you roll me a percent all day.
[2997.6s] Alright.
[2998.8s] Now that's both of the ones, right?
[3001.6s] Yep.
[3003.9s] 89.
[3004.8s] On the backswing you come through to this other one
[3007.3s] and catch it with the back end of your axe and crush its skull
[3011.6s] as it flies across into one of the tents.
[3015.2s] Sweet.
[3016.8s] It's the dinosaur's turn.
[3019.8s] I imagine like a female gnoll coming out of the tent being like
[3022.7s] that stain's never gonna come out.
[3026.4s] That's exactly what happens.
[3031.0s] So it's the dinosaur's turn.
[3032.5s] So one of the velociraptors lunges towards you, Thea,
[3037.6s] and the rope is just long enough that it's able to attack you at the very least.
[3044.6s] Hope Rex shows up soon.
[3046.8s] Yeah.
[3047.5s] It is going to try to get a hold of you for, that's a 22.
[3053.2s] 22 is gonna try and bite you.
[3055.5s] You have my challenge rating or my armor,
[3058.0s] but I'm pretty sure it's not a 22, so that hits me.
[3061.2s] It's going to try.
[3062.0s] It's not gonna be able to jump on top of you, but it will bite you.
[3065.2s] And that's going to get...
[3066.7s] And that's gonna hurt.
[3067.8s] It's not gonna feel good.
[3069.7s] So you get 2d10 plus four damage.
[3071.8s] Well, thank God I have all those hit points.
[3073.6s] Oh, never mind.
[3075.4s] It takes 10 piercing damage.
[3077.6s] 10 piercing damage.
[3078.8s] And the other ones kind of are just jumping about
[3080.8s] on the end of these ropes that they're tied to.
[3083.4s] And then it is Nulara's turn.
[3085.5s] Sweet.
[3086.2s] I got that flame and sword going,
[3088.0s] so I guess I'm gonna keep working with that.
[3092.2s] Keep that fire burning.
[3093.4s] That's a 23.
[3096.2s] Going six, eight damage.
[3098.0s] Those were almost the worst rolls I could have had, but that's okay.
[3101.6s] I will try again.
[3103.2s] Sure.
[3103.7s] And do better.
[3105.1s] No, I won't, because that is a 14 for an attack roll.
[3108.5s] 14 does not hit.
[3109.7s] So this one is kind of just out of range.
[3113.1s] You nick it once, but on your second swing,
[3115.0s] it manages to just get away from you.
[3117.2s] Just a little bit there,
[3118.8s] and you kind of singe its fur with your flame.
[3122.9s] Can Donnie try and chomp him?
[3125.6s] Yeah, absolutely.
[3128.6s] Donnie does not chomp him, because Donnie got a 13.
[3131.8s] Donnie does not chomp him.
[3133.1s] Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
[3134.8s] Okay, it is the Gnoll by the Dinosaur's turn there,
[3138.9s] and he, after yelping for help,
[3143.0s] sees that his whole camp is under attack,
[3145.2s] and he runs and dashes into the trees.
[3148.8s] So did he give us like one star or five stars on Yelp?
[3154.4s] This is a solid one star from customer satisfaction.
[3158.7s] That's fair.
[3159.3s] Now it's the Gnoll's by the Cookout's turn,
[3161.8s] so there are about 10 Gnolls figuring out what to do there,
[3165.6s] and three of them are going to come at Flint with their Spears.
[3171.2s] Two of them are going to shoot crossbows at Thea,
[3176.2s] and two are going to come with Spears at Nulara.
[3179.4s] So the one's coming to Flint.
[3181.4s] So a 22, a 23, and a 15.
[3185.7s] The two in the 20s hit.
[3186.9s] And then you will take nine piercing damage off of those guys.
[3192.3s] The crossbow shot at Thea, that's a 14 and a 13.
[3197.3s] My armor class is 13.
[3198.9s] So you take them both.
[3199.9s] Okay, I take them both.
[3201.3s] And you take 9, 10, 11 piercing damage off of two bolts being shot at you.
[3207.6s] And then Nulara, two are coming at you with Spears.
[3211.5s] Not well, though.
[3213.6s] That's only eights for both of them.
[3215.8s] Perfect.
[3216.5s] Love those guys.
[3217.9s] And then the rest of the Gnolls are evaluating the situation,
[3222.1s] but they choose to flee to the forest as well.
[3226.8s] Pussies.
[3228.8s] Now it is Thea's turn.
[3230.7s] Thea charges toward the Gnolls that shot their crossbows at her.
[3238.7s] Wait, is there a bigger clump of Gnolls?
[3240.7s] There are three attacking Flint.
[3242.6s] There are two kind of in the middle of the compound
[3245.3s] who shot the crossbows.
[3246.8s] There are two on Nulara and the rest are scattered.
[3249.2s] I will see if I can recharge my cold breath.
[3255.2s] I can.
[3256.1s] So I recharge that because I also want to get away from the Velociraptors
[3261.2s] because a little too close for comfort.
[3264.6s] So I run quickly toward those two and stop at the appropriate distance
[3272.7s] to cold blast them so that it's hitting only them in my 15-foot cone
[3277.6s] and not the others.
[3281.6s] Because they're in the middle, right?
[3282.7s] And there is like two 5k.
[3284.5s] Yeah.
[3285.1s] Don't want to cold blast my friends.
[3286.9s] So I do that and you have to make a Dexterity saving throw, please.
[3290.4s] Well, that's a five.
[3291.3s] The other one's a natural 20.
[3293.6s] Okay, so natural 20 will take half.
[3296.5s] Yep.
[3296.8s] My 48.
[3299.5s] 25.
[3300.8s] The one that takes the full damage is frozen in place.
[3304.0s] The other one...
[3306.7s] Yeah, he's dead too.
[3307.6s] They're both dead.
[3308.1s] Oh, they're both dead.
[3308.9s] Yeah.
[3309.2s] Okay.
[3311.0s] Nice.
[3311.5s] Yeah.
[3312.2s] As you cold breath, all of you begin to feel a rumble coming from the trees
[3317.1s] and it's coming quickly.
[3318.9s] And Rexy bursts through the trees as four more gnolls are coming out of one of the tents
[3324.7s] saying, what's going on here?
[3326.0s] And then they take a tail and just get swiped and knocked into the trees as
[3331.0s] Rexy lets out a huge roar.
[3334.3s] It's back to Flint.
[3336.2s] Okay.
[3336.9s] How many of these gnolls are kicking around nowadays?
[3341.2s] There's two on Nularaaaat, three on Flint, four that have just been tail swiped into
[3347.8s] the trees and the rest have scattered into the trees.
[3351.9s] So there are five currently who still have not run.
[3356.0s] Okay.
[3356.8s] I will take on, I guess, the one nearest to me out of the three.
[3362.2s] Sure.
[3363.6s] That's an at 20.
[3366.2s] Yeah, it is.
[3367.1s] I'm just going to say, how do you kill them?
[3369.2s] How do you murder them?
[3374.0s] He sees a glint in my eye and he knows as I walk towards him that his death is meeting him
[3382.4s] and he just falls over dead.
[3386.0s] I don't even have to hit him.
[3387.4s] His heart stops from sheer panic and he's dead.
[3391.1s] Okay.
[3391.6s] That's awesome.
[3393.3s] Now moving on to the next one.
[3397.6s] That's a 14.
[3398.7s] 14 will not hit.
[3401.0s] You're a little bit high on yourself on this one, just looking a guy to death.
[3404.8s] That's fair.
[3405.3s] You just skim the fur of this other gnoll beside you there.
[3409.0s] The dinosaurs who are tied up there are pulling at their restraints and you see
[3413.7s] the stakes beginning to pull from the ground a little bit, but they aren't out yet.
[3419.1s] And Nularaaaa, it's your turn.
[3420.4s] And there's two on me?
[3421.5s] Three on me?
[3422.2s] There are two still on you.
[3423.7s] Great.
[3424.1s] Well, I'm going to attack one of them.
[3425.6s] Oh my God, I rolled a nat 22.
[3429.6s] How do you kill this one?
[3430.9s] You can roll the damage if you want to, but pretty sure it's going to be dead.
[3433.4s] I can't think of anything dope.
[3435.6s] Flint just killed something by looking at it, so I can't really match that.
[3440.7s] I'm just going to run off and chop its head off.
[3443.7s] I thought you were going to say I'm going to run off into the woods and just leave on
[3447.9s] the high note.
[3448.6s] Because he's going to die of natural causes.
[3451.5s] Of course.
[3454.0s] So I boringly chop his head off with my flaming sword.
[3459.3s] Yawn.
[3461.0s] And then I'll attack the other.
[3464.5s] Oh, that one not so good.
[3466.0s] 13.
[3467.0s] 13 does not hit.
[3468.4s] So again, I mean, you guys get a good first strike in,
[3471.6s] but then fall apart at the last half.
[3474.0s] We got to stop being so damn cocky.
[3476.0s] Totally.
[3477.2s] Can Donnie go over and try and like chew on the ropes of the like, does it?
[3484.3s] I mean, you want to let them go?
[3486.2s] Well, but now like, aren't they Rexie's friends?
[3491.5s] How does dinosaur culture work?
[3493.3s] Please explain to me.
[3495.6s] Make a history check.
[3497.2s] Okay.
[3499.1s] Or a nature check, history or nature.
[3500.8s] Yeah.
[3501.7s] Whichever is better.
[3502.7s] I'm good at nature.
[3504.5s] How am I not good at nature?
[3505.8s] Oh, I'm not that good at nature.
[3507.5s] I got a 14.
[3508.7s] You know that if these dinosaurs are all friends, for lack of a better term,
[3513.6s] that you could probably tell Rex to communicate that somehow.
[3519.7s] And that might help.
[3522.2s] But that the way they're acting now is they're trying to attack
[3526.6s] anybody they can get close to.
[3528.8s] Okay, fair enough.
[3529.6s] I don't want Donnie to go over there.
[3530.0s] I flash you my wounds.
[3531.9s] My velociraptor wounds.
[3533.3s] Well, but Rexie hadn't showed up yet then.
[3535.9s] So it was like pretty fair.
[3538.2s] But no, I still, you're right.
[3539.5s] They're like rampaging.
[3540.8s] Probably shouldn't send little Donnie over there.
[3542.4s] So he's just going to try and chomp the one I whiffed on hitting.
[3547.7s] He does much worse and gets a five.
[3551.6s] Okay, that's good.
[3553.4s] You could still communicate that message to Rex if you were so desiring.
[3560.0s] Yeah, that would be great.
[3561.2s] I mean, yeah, I guess Donnie would be like,
[3563.3s] tell your friends we're your friends.
[3566.5s] But with a better accent.
[3572.3s] Many are left living, not many.
[3575.9s] I think two.
[3576.8s] Yeah, there's one on me still.
[3578.9s] And one on Flint.
[3580.0s] There's two on Flint.
[3581.0s] Oh, there's two on Flint.
[3582.4s] Yeah, those gnolls, they cluster and they all go for Flint.
[3588.5s] He did just kill one of their friends by looking at him.
[3591.0s] So it's true.
[3592.0s] Yeah, he did.
[3595.4s] One's a 20, one's a 22 and one's a 10.
[3598.8s] Only six damage taken from their spears.
[3602.8s] But then after they hit you,
[3605.2s] they see that it didn't really do all that much and they too begin to run away.
[3609.8s] So they make it 30 feet from where you are.
[3612.8s] And it is Thea's turn.
[3614.5s] So they are.
[3614.9s] Bring them closer to me.
[3617.0s] Yeah, one of them kind of turns blindly and is running in your general direction.
[3621.5s] Poor guy.
[3622.4s] No one should run in my general direction.
[3625.8s] I do not recharge my cold breath.
[3628.7s] Instead, I run at this other guy and jump to bite him in the neck, shoulder, neck area.
[3642.6s] 15.
[3644.0s] 15 will hit.
[3644.6s] Sorry, 16.
[3645.6s] 16 will also hit.
[3646.4s] Okay.
[3648.6s] 2d6 plus 4.
[3651.6s] 14.
[3652.7s] 14.
[3653.2s] So in its panic, it turns and begins running at you.
[3657.1s] But in the last moment sees you jumping at it mouth open
[3661.7s] and you bite into its jugular and it is dead too.
[3665.2s] Rex manages to catch the other two with its tail and sends them flying across the
[3670.9s] encampment and then communicates to the other dinosaurs to calm their shit
[3676.0s] in a way that a dinosaur would obviously do.
[3678.6s] How would that sound?
[3685.6s] Then the velociraptors respond with like.
[3689.5s] Exactly.
[3690.3s] Exactly.
[3691.0s] And they kind of they stop pulling at their restraints and all of the
[3694.4s] gnolls are gone or dead and you are in this encampment with four dinosaurs now.
[3701.1s] I change back into my human form.
[3710.7s] I don't know if there was a sound effect that goes along with that,
[3712.7s] but that's what I do and I kind of brush myself off and stand up.
[3716.3s] I give the dinosaur a thumbs up.
[3719.0s] What do you guys want to do with these dinosaurs?
[3721.2s] Well, they're wild animals, right?
[3723.0s] They are wild animals.
[3725.5s] I guess and they seem calm now?
[3727.6s] They have calmed down, yes.
[3729.2s] Okay, so maybe me and Rexy walk over to them and they like are reuniting and I untie them.
[3735.8s] Sure, you untie them and.
[3738.6s] Eat you and you all die.
[3741.0s] Yeah, and then you're murdered and then you're just eaten alive.
[3744.4s] No, they all look, they all kind of look at you and give you just behind their eyes,
[3750.8s] you see that there's a thank you there and unless there's anything you do to stop them,
[3755.9s] they all work their way into the forest.
[3758.4s] That seems fair.
[3759.4s] Oh, before I want to take the saddle and stuff off Rex, you know.
[3764.1s] Yeah, you managed to do that before they head out.
[3766.8s] You rid them of their restraints and their riding attire, I guess.
[3773.4s] Yeah.
[3774.6s] And they go off on their way into the woods.
[3777.4s] Wonderful, happy ending.
[3779.4s] I can't wait till we hear the news bulletin
[3781.4s] about this roaming pack of dinosaurs is terrorizing the land.
[3784.4s] Any good loot in this camp?
[3788.9s] How's that meat look?
[3790.0s] Are we hungry?
[3790.9s] The meat looks like it is an overcooked deer of some sort.
[3797.8s] Deer?
[3799.3s] Might be a deer.
[3800.7s] Anything else meat in the encampment?
[3802.5s] What else can we find?
[3804.2s] Let me, there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of kind of not great weapons.
[3811.6s] Those are my favorite kind.
[3813.1s] You guys find about 200, equivalent of about 200 gold in gold and gems.
[3819.3s] You find a bunch of not great weapons, some swords, some crossbows and longbows.
[3825.1s] Nothing really great, but I mean all in decent condition could be sold if you wanted to do that.
[3833.6s] Otherwise, there's not too much of huge value that it looks like these gnolls have gathered
[3840.0s] from their riverboat conquests.
[3843.5s] I would take a crossbow because I don't really have any ranged weapons.
[3849.1s] Like I have a longbow, but that's it.
[3852.4s] Use it much?
[3853.1s] Like I have a bunch of weapons that are still on my paper thing and not in roll 20
[3857.2s] because I never use them, but every once in a while we need a ranged weapon.
[3861.6s] You have your pick of a light crossbow or a heavy crossbow.
[3866.1s] The light crossbow's range is 80 to 320 or the heavy crossbow is 100 to 400.
[3872.6s] Light, please.
[3873.9s] So unless there's anything else anybody wants to grab,
[3877.4s] I assume you just want to keep heading to Luskin.
[3879.6s] Yeah, at least that's my vote and we'll just split that gold.
[3883.8s] Yep, that sounds fine.
[3884.6s] Yeah, for sure.
[3885.1s] Cool.
[3885.6s] You guys head back to the river and you find you are about three quarters of the
[3889.4s] way through the forest, so it takes you about the rest of the day,
[3892.8s] but you get out of the forest around dusk and you are right at the edge of Luskin.
[3899.2s] Well, you've been there before, but it's a shabby kind of trade town and standing
[3903.2s] right in the middle of the river is the post tower of the Arcane Brotherhood,
[3910.3s] and the tower resembles a tree with four limbs or spires and you feel coming from it
[3917.6s] a radiating, strong, magical aura and you have made it back to Luskin.
[3942.1s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[3947.3s] Yeah, we got nothing.
[3949.3s] We should like, we should say something.
[3950.5s] He didn't take his headphones off.
[3952.6s] It's all right.
[3953.2s] I didn't have anything more to say other than we should do something for Russ's birthday.
[3958.1s] Totally.
[3959.8s] Yeah.
[3960.1s] We can secret talk in role 20 if we ever were to log in, not when we're playing.
[3965.0s] Yeah, do you guys know how to use the whisper function?
[3968.5s] No, you click the button that says whisper.
[3970.3s] Not true.
[3971.0s] Okay, well.
[3972.4s] There is still one like on like one of the original ones that you attacked as well.
[3979.5s] No, you just told me he dashed into the forest.
[3981.5s] Yes, he dashed into the forest.
[3983.0s] So there's a lot of notes.
[3985.2s] There's a lot going on.
[3986.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.